How's that for an informational headline! I'll break it down for you:
1. On September 8, 2012, Lane and I got married in the soggy grass in Duboce Park while simultaneously crashing a neighborhood swap meet. Lane's uncle officiated and gave the most heartfelt and wise speech I have ever heard about love and the vows he composed were amazing. Everyone walked through the Lower Haight to Uva Enoteca for a brunch reception that was gorgeous. I don't really remember much other than trying to remember to stand up straight and the two minutes total I actually got to spend with Lane, which was primarily dominated by cake cutting and eating under duress. You people aren't shy about demanding a show! Most of my cousins and aunts and uncles were there, which is great because now that "the kids" are all grown up, we're rarely all in the same place at once. My dear Granny couldn't make it, not that she didn't want to. She's on some medications that need some more tweaking and just doesn't feel confident straying too far from her home. I wore her mother's pearl necklace and her pearl earrings, along with Lane's grandmothers pearls. They looked great together and it was very special to have Granny there in some tiny way. I was incredibly overwhelmed by the time it was all over, so we gathered our things, paid our bill and took a cab ten blocks up the street and promptly fell asleep. The next day, we had a late brunch, just the two of us, at Bar Agricole and then ran errands to gather all the necessaries and sundries for our Kona honeymoon. On Monday, we flew to Kona and proceeded to spend the next six days lounging alternately on the beach, at the pool, in the pool and on our private lanai. We went snorkeling once and I saw two sea turtles. There were no severe sunburns. We're still floating around and smiling all the time and I am kind of obsessed with staring at and playing with my thin gold wedding band. Being a newlywed is the best.
2. The other part: We're having a baby! Surprise! No literally, it was a surprise. I am now a member of the 1%...of women who get pregnant while on The Pill. Thanks, science. But in all seriousness, we could not be happier and are totally pleased that our family timeline has just been bumped up a little bit. We found out in mid-June and will be welcoming our new human sometime around February 18. The first trimester was hard -- I was exhausted, emotional and sick -- to the extent that I had to change my work schedule around so that I wouldn't have to deal with passing out on a packed N-Judah. Once I hit 13 weeks, things started to feel a lot better. My brain defrosted, I could eat like a normal person again and I wasn't in constant need of a fainting couch. I was basically a swooning hysteric circa 1908 for 12 weeks. Everything is super great, but I have been having some heart palpitations/arrhythmia, so I have to wear a heart monitor for a day, just as a precaution in case there is anything outside of the normal heart-pumping-twice-as-much-blood fatigue going on. I'm currently 19w1d and each day I get more and more excited to meet this baby and watch him or her grow up and turn into a really cool person. We're holding off on determining the sex until the little one decides to come out. I will now be adding one more category to the navigation bar: Baby!
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Managing Your Anxiety While Shopping for Probably the Most Important Dress
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Whoo-whee is my mother ever patient and kind. Today was our first wedding dress reconnaissance trip and I made it through without crying, acting like a brat or having an anxiety attack. I do not enjoy shopping for clothes and I always seem to have a meltdown when I'm looking for something specific. My mom, having known me since birth, is well aware of the potential for a meltdown. She has witnessed some of the worst during back-to-school shopping in Mervyn's and getting me to look less like Charles Manson in pre-high school dance pictures. Shopping and posing for pictures turn me into a raging maniac, basically. You should ask my dad about the time I ugly-cried in Nordstrom because the prom dress sales lady told me I had a "mature figure."
We started at Britex, which is a four-story fabric store downtown that houses everything you need to sew anything and the kindly Russian ladies and men in embroidered satin vests to show you just how to do it. Starting on the third floor, we flipped through all the pattern books from Vogue, McCalls, Butterick and Burda. I haven't looked at a pattern book since sometime in the mid-90s, but it used to be a favorite weekend pastime, right after spending an afternoon at the roller rink. While my mom would go off and disappear into the notion aisles or whatever she did for an hour at the fabric store, I would sit myself down at the long table that held all the huge, square pattern books with the heavy cardboard covers. I'd start with the Halloween costume books, even if it was April, because a kid always has to be prepared. Then I'd move on to the regular books, going first for Evening and Bridal, then the "hip and with it section," and perhaps I'd check out the nightgowns and crafts. I thought 80% of the content of these books were hideous and I got a creepy sort of enjoyment out of making fun of the illustrated, knockoff Barbie and Ken models in horrible hand-made clothing.
My mind is much more "mature" (fuck you, Valley Fair Nordstrom lady) these days and I picked up the pattern books and began a surgical strike. I only looked at the Dresses and Evening and Bridal sections, not even giving myself time to inwardly chuckle at the more unfortunate looks. We picked out three possible patterns that will be amenable to hacking towards our needs. We then headed down to the first floor to look at their silk selection and that's where I got the first little twinge of anxiety. I do not have the talent my mother has that allows her to look at a Vogue pattern and a bolt of silk and come to the conclusion that the color would look too brown and it wouldn't drape right. I just see pretty shiny fabric that I want to rub on my skin. We're leaning towards a champagn-y, pale ballet pink charmeuse. I don't know what charmeuse is but it's lovely.
We had a relaxed lunch after our fabric store trip and I realized the reason why I didn't lose my shit was because we took our time and there was no pressure to find THE PATTERN and THE FABRIC RIGHT NOW. We were just looking at options and my mom was gently guiding me in the direction I wanted to go without too much pushing. I showed her four dresses that all looked to be in the same general vein but she told me no, those are definitely four different dresses and then asked me what I liked best about each. And she never once was all "SARAH YOU ARE INSANE DO YOU NOT HAVE EYEBALLS TO SEE THAT EVERY DRESS YOU SHOW ME THAT IS THE ONE IS DIFFERENT." That's why she's making this dress.
We started at Britex, which is a four-story fabric store downtown that houses everything you need to sew anything and the kindly Russian ladies and men in embroidered satin vests to show you just how to do it. Starting on the third floor, we flipped through all the pattern books from Vogue, McCalls, Butterick and Burda. I haven't looked at a pattern book since sometime in the mid-90s, but it used to be a favorite weekend pastime, right after spending an afternoon at the roller rink. While my mom would go off and disappear into the notion aisles or whatever she did for an hour at the fabric store, I would sit myself down at the long table that held all the huge, square pattern books with the heavy cardboard covers. I'd start with the Halloween costume books, even if it was April, because a kid always has to be prepared. Then I'd move on to the regular books, going first for Evening and Bridal, then the "hip and with it section," and perhaps I'd check out the nightgowns and crafts. I thought 80% of the content of these books were hideous and I got a creepy sort of enjoyment out of making fun of the illustrated, knockoff Barbie and Ken models in horrible hand-made clothing.
My mind is much more "mature" (fuck you, Valley Fair Nordstrom lady) these days and I picked up the pattern books and began a surgical strike. I only looked at the Dresses and Evening and Bridal sections, not even giving myself time to inwardly chuckle at the more unfortunate looks. We picked out three possible patterns that will be amenable to hacking towards our needs. We then headed down to the first floor to look at their silk selection and that's where I got the first little twinge of anxiety. I do not have the talent my mother has that allows her to look at a Vogue pattern and a bolt of silk and come to the conclusion that the color would look too brown and it wouldn't drape right. I just see pretty shiny fabric that I want to rub on my skin. We're leaning towards a champagn-y, pale ballet pink charmeuse. I don't know what charmeuse is but it's lovely.
We had a relaxed lunch after our fabric store trip and I realized the reason why I didn't lose my shit was because we took our time and there was no pressure to find THE PATTERN and THE FABRIC RIGHT NOW. We were just looking at options and my mom was gently guiding me in the direction I wanted to go without too much pushing. I showed her four dresses that all looked to be in the same general vein but she told me no, those are definitely four different dresses and then asked me what I liked best about each. And she never once was all "SARAH YOU ARE INSANE DO YOU NOT HAVE EYEBALLS TO SEE THAT EVERY DRESS YOU SHOW ME THAT IS THE ONE IS DIFFERENT." That's why she's making this dress.
The Five-Month Engagement
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
We are several steps closer to having A Plan for the Hebard-Milburn wedding. I was up the river (short for Monte Rio-Guerneville-Rio Nido-Jenner on the Russian River) for my friend's bachelorette weekend and we had some Bellini-fueled wedding planning conversations in the back of a limo en route to some Sonoma wineries that kind of solidified my priorities and filled out some areas that were just kind of fuzzy and blank before. We're definitely set on our venue and we're meeting sometime next week to go over the menu and logistics. The restaurant is a great deal for a brunch buy-out and our wedding budget spreadsheet is now pleasingly full of small numbers.
After some back and forth on design input from various parental figures, we've settled on an invitation design that pleases everybody.
It has the bold pop of color that Lane wanted and an understated font and layout that our mothers preferred. And I got to keep the red lettering. This is just an online mock up, so the alignment is all wonky. I'll share once we get the final proof from the printer. I really wanted our full names on the invitation, but they're just too long. Oh well.
My mom and I have been communicating via Pinterest on the dress design. I was really not enjoying the dress part of this whole thing because I had no idea what I would want to wear and our plans kept changing. I started gathering pictures of dresses with short sleeves, high boatnecks and tailored bodices. I still haven't decided on the length, but I'll go with either midi or full. You can check out our dress inspiration here. I'm hoping we can squeeze in a brunch and Britex date this Saturday to look at fabrics and patterns. I also think I'd like a sparkly gold belt to wear at my waist.
I really can't say enough about how having a short engagement has helped keep things focused in our planning. I'm the kind of person that gets seriously overwhelmed by variety and choices, so not having time to dwell on possibilities has saved me at least one panic attack. The short engagement is also helping us stick to a small budget ($5,000). If we pushed the date into next spring, we would have saved more money and probably spent it on useless crap and then I would have felt guilty on my honeymoon. Irish guilt is so much fun, you guys.
(image of the invitation mock-up from Paper Source)
After some back and forth on design input from various parental figures, we've settled on an invitation design that pleases everybody.
It has the bold pop of color that Lane wanted and an understated font and layout that our mothers preferred. And I got to keep the red lettering. This is just an online mock up, so the alignment is all wonky. I'll share once we get the final proof from the printer. I really wanted our full names on the invitation, but they're just too long. Oh well.
My mom and I have been communicating via Pinterest on the dress design. I was really not enjoying the dress part of this whole thing because I had no idea what I would want to wear and our plans kept changing. I started gathering pictures of dresses with short sleeves, high boatnecks and tailored bodices. I still haven't decided on the length, but I'll go with either midi or full. You can check out our dress inspiration here. I'm hoping we can squeeze in a brunch and Britex date this Saturday to look at fabrics and patterns. I also think I'd like a sparkly gold belt to wear at my waist.
I really can't say enough about how having a short engagement has helped keep things focused in our planning. I'm the kind of person that gets seriously overwhelmed by variety and choices, so not having time to dwell on possibilities has saved me at least one panic attack. The short engagement is also helping us stick to a small budget ($5,000). If we pushed the date into next spring, we would have saved more money and probably spent it on useless crap and then I would have felt guilty on my honeymoon. Irish guilt is so much fun, you guys.
(image of the invitation mock-up from Paper Source)
The Anti-Wedding
Monday, April 23, 2012
We're getting married, which is super great! But what is not super great is our mutual aversion to wedding planning. Our first brainstorm was overwhelming and ended in me saying "Fuck it, let's elope." So we started fleshing out a plan to elope to New York and do a civil ceremony/honeymoon combination trip, but expenses started adding up and stressing me out. We re-grouped and talked about our priorities: keeping it simple, making sure the people we care about feel included and involved, keeping costs down and turning out an event that looks nothing like what "tradition" ascribes. We made a list of restaurants where we have connections and a back-up list of city-owned properties for possible venues. We made a second, thoughtfully-edited list of what we feel okay spending money on and came up with food and booze, venue, dress and suit and the honeymoon. From there, we both felt a little more on top of things and a lot better about what we are getting ourselves into. We decided on a brunch reception to keep food costs down and make our guests feel comfortable (the meal will be served family style with no assigned seating) at the restaurant where we had our first date.
We now have a date and a venue, which takes care of about 80% of our planning. I need to find a dress, Lane needs to decide if he wants a new suit and we need to design and order invitations. One huge bummer for me is that we won't have a City Hall ceremony. I have always wanted to get married at City Hall, but the San Francisco Clerk's Office does not offer weekend ceremonies and a weekday wedding just isn't going to work for us. My dad and I had planned on him driving us from City Hall to the restaurant in his cherry 1957 Ford Thunderbird convertible, so we'll have to figure out another way to work in the car. I also have to wrap my head around saying my vows in front of all of the guests, the thought of which currently makes me want to barf. I'm not even going to venture to suggest we write our own vows -- just the standard set will do.
We're both feeling a lot more in control of this whole thing, even though it's moving farther and farther away from what we first imagined. But we are both pretty flexible folks and we've got the support of our family and friends who are good at things like flower arranging, cake baking and listening to me have a conversation with myself over a bottle of wine. And of course, we're more interested in having a happy marriage than a perfect wedding.
We now have a date and a venue, which takes care of about 80% of our planning. I need to find a dress, Lane needs to decide if he wants a new suit and we need to design and order invitations. One huge bummer for me is that we won't have a City Hall ceremony. I have always wanted to get married at City Hall, but the San Francisco Clerk's Office does not offer weekend ceremonies and a weekday wedding just isn't going to work for us. My dad and I had planned on him driving us from City Hall to the restaurant in his cherry 1957 Ford Thunderbird convertible, so we'll have to figure out another way to work in the car. I also have to wrap my head around saying my vows in front of all of the guests, the thought of which currently makes me want to barf. I'm not even going to venture to suggest we write our own vows -- just the standard set will do.
We're both feeling a lot more in control of this whole thing, even though it's moving farther and farther away from what we first imagined. But we are both pretty flexible folks and we've got the support of our family and friends who are good at things like flower arranging, cake baking and listening to me have a conversation with myself over a bottle of wine. And of course, we're more interested in having a happy marriage than a perfect wedding.
