Body Party Pooper

Breakfast

I read this post by Marcella last week and something about it inspired me to redouble my efforts to get back in shape after a baby and an unplanned C-section. For the most part, I'm not super worried about how different my body is now. I was thin and toned through my mid-20s, but the smoking and the drinking started showing and I got soft and puffy. Once that part of my life was over and I joined (and went!) to the gym and started paying attention to how what I ate made me feel, I got stronger, but I wasn't the little wispy thing I was in college. I don't think I'll ever see that body again. It was fun and I miss it, but it's dead.

On the hardest days, I think of my body as ruined or destroyed. I have an ugly purple scar, stretch marks that refuse to fade no matter what I do, a muffin top to end all muffin tops and, by far the worst thing ever, chunky upper arms. I was watching Ally McBeal the other day (the whole series is streaming on Netflix!) and I actually thought to myself "At least I don't have a wattle."

Lunch

So, getting back in shape; or, as UsWeekly phrases it HOT MAMA: HOW [INSERT VAPID CELEB HERE] GOT HER BODY BACK. (She did it with liposuction, a boob lift and a tummy tuck, duh.) I'm not going to get my body back. Like I said, my pre-pregnancy body in all its iterations is gone. But! I can get healthy, I can get stronger and I can get rid of some (most?) of the jiggly parts that make me so self-conscious. All weekend I made absurdly healthy meals for myself and bookmarked a bunch of workout videos on YouTube. I also promised myself to walk home with Elliott twice a week, weather permitting. During one particularly rough patch in the late Oughts, I walked to and from work because I literally could not afford to pay the bus fare and pay rent and student loans at the same time. I dropped at least ten pounds (also due in part to every 20-something's favorite weight loss plan: The Poverty Diet) and I felt really strong. I cancelled my gym membership once I went back to work after Elliott was born, which still saddens me. I paid a lot of money to be a member at Equinox and it was absolutely worth every penny. I worked out smarter and better than I ever had. And their steam room is the closest thing to heaven on earth that I've found. I suppose I could have changed my schedule and woken up at 5:00 every morning to get to the gym before work, but I'm not a morning person and I'd miss out on how adorable Elliott is when he still has a sleepy face and babbles to us about whatever is on his mind each morning. 

Dinner

All that said, I'll be working out at home. I don't run. I can't run. It severely damages my body, which has been messed up by ballet and over-training as a cheerleader in high school. I need gentle cardio and focused strength training, otherwise I turn into an 80-year-old woman in need of a hip transplant and a Rascal. I really like Tracy Anderson's Post-Pregnancy Workout and her arm workout, which can be found on YouTube. Nothing can ever replace my favorite vinyasa yoga class at Equinox unless a crazy little Fillipino man comes to my house, blasts One Direction and makes me sing along, inspects my mani while I'm in downward-facing dog and makes me sweat all the way through my moisture-wicking clothes. But, I'm going to try out Erin Motz's 30-Day Yoga Challenge.

And no more eating my feelings at work, no more going to bed without dinner and no more feeling sorry for myself.

Photos of my meals on Sunday with ingredients: breakfast / lunch / dinner.