26 Weeks

After a really rough experience during weeks 20 through 22, things are starting to get jazz hands excited around these parts. We've picked out names, started thinking about what the nursery will look like and Lane tells me every day that he can't wait for the Bun to come out. And I'm like "Yeah, I'm pretty pumped to give birth. NBD."

We went in for our anatomy scan ultrasound at 20 weeks and spent 3 hours at the UCSF Prenatal Diagnosis Center in a dark ultrasound room. We saw an ultrasound tech, a high-risk fellow and the attending physician. They told us there were cysts in the brain where spinal fluid is made, which is an indicator of Trisomy 18. Then they said not to worry about it -- it's totally fine. The doctors were in and out of the room, not telling us what was going on and just leaving us in there for what seemed like hours. When we were first told about the cysts and then promptly left alone in the room, I couldn't even look at Lane because I was afraid I'd start crying and not be able to get it together to speak with the next doctor. Their advice was horrible and we were too shocked to ask the right questions. I called in sick, exhausted and feeling a migraine stirring. Lane took me home and went to work. I called my dad and he braved the worst-case scenario internet for me to discover that these cysts usually resolve before birth in babies where there are no other apparent defects. Our ultrasound was clear and healthy in all the other areas, but I was still nervous and wanted to know more. My nurse practioner at One Medical was a much better source of information, not to say far more sympathetic and understanding. I love her. She laid out which tests we could elect to have done and what they would show, all the while telling us that our baby is probably fine and that medical knowledge hasn't caught up with ultrasound technology, leading doctors to disclose scary things but then immediately say everything is fine with no further explanation. We went back for a follow-up ultrasound two weeks later and the cysts were gone. I cried with relief. I emailed my NP and told her we were free and clear and weren't going to opt for any further testing with her blessing and she concurred. We left UCSF feeling a little bit lighter and ready to welcome this new person and had a big celebratory brunch at Zazie.

Both Lane and I have been nesting and making improvements that didn't even occur to us before we got pregnant. We've bought and built two new bookshelves, a dresser and a coffee table. The book collection has been culled and the cast-offs donated. Weekly drops at Goodwill are opening up our closet space and I've suddenly become adept at storage organization. We're going to cover the busted wood flooring in the entry way and hall with Flor carpet tiles and I've googled how to clean mold from tile grout, how to clean an upholstered couch and installed electric dehumidifiers in our closet and behind the bed. We're both madly in love with our new Dyson vacuum.

My belly is growing into a shape that my dad calls "bumper car." I no longer turn and toss freely in my sleep -- I wake up, grunt and push myself over. I really love feeling the baby kick and wonder if I'm going to miss it once he or she is here. I've gotten used to being pregnant, so much so that I have no idea what I'm going to feel like once I've given birth. And there is just a lot of grunting in my day-to-day activities. When he can, Lane helps me get my shoes on and off and putting on tights has become a bit of an undertaking. I see a gentle chiropractor who keeps my crazy body from seizing up and cramping and I take lots of baths with Epsom salts. I can actually feel my feet and legs get more relaxed during a bath.

Things are going swimmingly and this growing a human business isn't so scary after all.