What I Read On My Honeymoon

We didn't do shit on our honeymoon and that's the way we wanted it. We did go snorkeling one day, but only for an hour and then my face got tired. We never quite adjusted to the time change, so we were on geriatric time for our entire stay. I'd wake up around six, read for an hour, and then go get breakfast from the resort's "deli." Lane would wake up and we'd both read or listen to podcasts or play Angry Birds until lunchtime, when we would make the harrowing daily decision to sit at the beach or at the pool. Once we decided, we'd sit and read until dinner time, a/k/a 5:30, and then agonizingly choose from one of the four restaurants. This honeymoon was for sloths.  Here's what I read:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
I stopped reading the series about twenty pages into this book in 2005, so I am quite pleased to have caught up again. I borrowed it through the Kindle Owner's Lending Library, but my Kindle broke when I was halfway through, so I ran back up to our hotel room, paid for wi-fi, paid for the actual e-book through Pottermore, downloaded it and all my other on-deck ebooks onto the iPad and ran back down to the beach to continue reading. Talk about honeymoon disaster. (I also pre-ordered the new Kindle Paperwhite!) Oh, and the book was good.

Paris, I Love You but You're Bringing Me Down
I loved this. It was like a whole novel of entertaining and amusingly dark New Yorker anecdotes. Well, it was more than that, but you get the idea. There were parts that made me laugh and plenty of more serious human emotions to relate to running underneath the narrative.

The Dud Avocado
Somehow four out of the six books I brought or Kindled with me were about Paris. When I started this book, I was like LANE ALL THE BOOKS I HAVE ARE ABOUT PARIS. He said we should go for our anniversary next year and I was like, "Um, I still don't have any desire to leave the country and oh my god I wonder what the cats are doing right now argggggglelelchafasfdkj" and descended into a fugue of homesick anxiety. This book is hilarious and dark (I see another theme forming). You get a two-year trust fund from a rich uncle in the Sixties, so what do you do? Go live as a total fuck-up in the Montmarte, of course.

Raven: The Untold Story of Rev. Jim Jones and His People
Confirms that sociopathic cult leaders all start out as the kind of kids who lock their friends in an attic for the hell of it. Five stars.